Surround Yourself with People who will Support, Guide and Partner with You.

I received a job offer that I was absolutely thrilled about! As the start date became closer and closer I started to think about how many women I would be working with. This was going to be a totally new experience to work in an environment so full of women, and it just terrified me. It took a few weeks to adjust and not be afraid of stereotypical gossip or backstabbing (don’t worry I don’t think ALL women are like that). However-once I started to understand my role and the culture a bit more, I met a woman that changed my career.

She was on my team and we were peers, but wow did she intimidate me. She was incredibly articulate, and always had a thoughtful and intelligent answer or opinion. It was odd to meet someone that I wanted to look up to, when we were the exact same age. Sometimes I became a little hard on myself-wondering with my similar skills and experience why wasn’t I able to portray myself the way that she did. She ended up being passed for a big promotion in lieu of bringing some new blood into the organization. It wasn’t long after that she decided it was time to move on.

Instead of being angry and bitter, she kept it together. She continued to work hard and play nice with everyone even though she had really been let down and we all knew she would be a great leader for our team. That in itself is a huge feat, not many peers want to see their friend get promoted to be their manager. I would have reported to her in a heartbeat.

Then something amazing happened. In her last few weeks she wanted to actually help me. She offered words of advice and wisdom for navigating our company culture. She told me stories of when she thought she didn’t make the best decision or respond the right way. She could have been bitter that I might someday get that opportunity that she did not. Instead she put her feelings aside and offered to help someone else. I hope that someday I am able to work with her again and we can dominate the world together.

Sending all my love from the west coast. Thank you for inspiring me.

Share your stories of support & guidance in the comments below.

Top 5 Books to Help You Quit Your Day Job

Do you hate Sunday nights?  Even if there is a new episode of Walking Dead, The Good Wife, or the Sunday night HBO line up, you still find yourself dreading Sunday simply because you will have to go to work tomorrow.  Once you finally convince yourself that you should go to bed, you toss and turn and get the worst night of sleep ever.  The alarm goes off, and you are instantly pissed off at the world.  Then comes the joy of the commute, either sitting in traffic trying not to intentionally run into the person in front of you, or dealing with hot, never on time, smelly public transportation.  Once you finally make it into the office, you have a million emails to respond read/respond and you are already counting down the hours until Friday at 5.

Wouldn’t it be awesome, if you didn’t dread Sunday night or getting up to go to the office?  Do you spend your days dreaming of ideas and projects that you wish you could work on if you had enough time, energy, or money?

Check out this list of excellent reads to get yourself motivated to take the next step and quit your day job!

• $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future-Chris Guillebeau

• The Lean Startup: How Today’s Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses-Eric Ries
  

• The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World-Chris Guillebeau

• Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance-Jonathon Fields

• The Accidental Creative: How to Be Brilliant at a Moment’s Notice-Todd Henry
  

What books have motivated you to take the next step towards freedom?

 

 

 

2014 Goals for an Entrepreneur and Life

It’s that time of the year again.  This is the first time I have ever put my goals out there for all to see, hopefully that will help keep me accountable and on track this year.

• Diversify Income-don’t just rely on the jobs that my husband and I currently have.

• Spend more time in nature-hike once a month

• Increase social media usage to engage with new communities

• Do more local travel & road trips-Portland, Tahoe, Big Sur, Northern California etc

• Actively train our dog Rye to be less excitable so she can enjoy more things in her life

• Meet new people, not just for networking

• Exercise 3x a week

• Eat Healthy 80% of the time

What are your goals for 2014?  Do you think you will finally stick to them this year?

5 Ways to Stay Sane While Looking for a New Job

Have you been laid off or are actively looking for an exit from your current job?  Looking for a new job is an emotional roller coaster.  As you begin looking and get on board with the idea you are a little nervous but have that flutter of excitement as you begin your journey.  Once you start actively looking it is like the ascent up the hill-holy shit what was I thinking, can I really do this?!  You get a job prospect, fill out your application and you feel like you are flying high.  Then you keep going and you can’t see what is coming up ahead, the ups and downs, twists and turns-no news, an automatic rejection email, a delay because of an IPO, a position that they aren’t actively hiring for?  Land an interview, feels great as you pull back into the station.  Only to find that you have to meet with another team, the director, VP.  The coaster pulls back out of the station and away you go into the fear of the unknown, even if you have ridden this coaster before.

How many times can you physically and emotionally handle riding this roller coaster?  First of all make sure you remember how disorganized every company you ever worked for was.  Someone in HR gets a ton of job applications for a position that they probably do not understand very well.  Online marketing-yea sure someone that worked in communications at a PR company could do this.  Oh you have paid search experience-I don’t really think that is what we are looking for-bottom of the pile.  Once that person gets a pile of resume together they email them to most likely the director of the hiring team.  They are swamped and have 0 time to review-days go by.  They finally pick a few and send them back to HR for a quick call.  Emails get buried, days go by.  Finally schedule a call with HR, passed, now they need to figure out all of the schedules of the team you are meeting with.  Schedule an interview end of next week.  Takes a week or more for next steps and so on.  Some companies take as long as 3-4 months for the total interview process because of scheduling issues and meeting with multiple candidates.

Now you are starting to feel like that time you were the one of the last people picked for a sports team.  Will anyone want me to be on their team?  Do I have the right skills and personality to fit the group?  This feeling sucks.  Plain and simple.  Sometimes its a job you don’t really want anyways and you can deal with it, but what about when its for the job you think you will love?

Here is what you can do to ride out the emotional roller coaster of the job search.  You can’t look for and apply to jobs 24/7 you will lose your mind, take a break with one of these.  Even when money is tight it can be pretty nice to not have to get up and go to work everyday.  Take advantage of this time off, enjoy it as best as you can and do something!

1. Exercise-super easy and beneficial.  You can only apply for so many jobs in a day before you are ready to throw yourself off the balcony.  Not only do you no longer have the excuse of not having any time, but you can really develop a schedule that you can stick to.  You don’t have to join an expensive gym, just get outside and go for a walk or run, or do workout videos at home.  You will definitely release the negative energy and feel better afterwards.

2. Hang out with an animal.  Dogs are by nature pretty happy creatures, any attention you give them they will love you for and everything will feel better.  Don’t have a pet?  Head over to the local SPCA or shelter and volunteer a few hours a week.

3. Organize something.  Remember how you never had any time to organize your personal computer files, update your iTunes or clean out that random closet.  Now you have time and you will totally feel like you accomplished something that has been bothering you for years.

4. Start a hobby or that side business you always wanted.  Don’t get discouraged because you don’t want to spend any money to start a business.  Just figure out what interests you and start putting together a game plan to lay the ground work.

5. Network-but in a fun way.  Find local events and meet new people, get free drinks.  Not only does this force you to shower and wear something other than sweatpants, but you may meet someone that knows of an open position.

What has helped you survive the perils of job hunting?

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Third Metric Career

Work Life Balance

With the ongoing battle of women having it all vs accepting that women cannot have it all, The Third Metric as defined by Arianna Huffington strikes the perfect balance, “Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power.”  Life doesn’t just break down between career and babies, it is about living the life that you want to live.

After relocating to San Francisco, it became quite clear that there are definitely a lot of people that put work at the top of the list.  If you don’t get off on your job each and every single day you aren’t actually serious about your career or have faith in your company.  This is quite interesting in a city full of tech companies and start ups that consider bringing your dog to work, working from home, yoga classes and free lunch normal benefits.  In some cases taking advantage of those benefits can make you appear less dedicated than your coworkers.  If the company doesn’t actually encourage people to enjoy the benefits no one can comfortably use these perks.

So how do you find YOUR third metric job?  That job that you still love and will pay the bills but it won’t run your life.  Start by finding companies or products that already interest you.  Do you love fashion, animals, being outdoors etc?  Going to work everyday will be easier if you already have an interest in the product or service.  Just because you love being outdoors doesn’t mean you can only be a park ranger or dog walker.  You could take a look at companies that manufacture or distribute outdoor apparel, equipment, gear and accessories.

Once you find a few options that really interest you take a good look at the dynamics and culture of the company.  What are the benefits and hours like?  Is the company a startup or already well established.  Looking at these factors will give you a pretty good idea of what type of person really excels in a particular environment.  If you are really interested in the product, but you will have to travel 50% of the time and always be on call on email maybe that isn’t your third metric career.

It isn’t all or nothing and it is possible to find a job that is rewarding and also allows you to live your life.  You just have to do your research, connect with the right people and be patient.

Why are Young People Unhappy?

Benjamin Studebaker

I’ve noticed an interesting article floating around the internet. The piece, entitled “Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy” sees rampant narcissism and self-entitlement as the source of young people’s unhappiness. Does it have a case? Let’s take a look.

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Relocation Transportation-Do You Take a Plane, Train or Automobile?

Our Picture of the Colorado National Monument Park

Determining the mode of transportation that you will embark on for your trip actually kinda matters.  Hate to add that to the list of a million other things you need to deal with but its worth taking the time.

A few things to consider and hopefully help you figure your shit out.

• Do you have enough physical time to get to your new location if you take the train or drive?  If you have to be there tomorrow that doesn’t leave you many options.  Unless you have a DeLorean DMC-12…

• Moving with pets… now that is an entirely different story.  Can they fit on a plane, and do you even have a car?
• Are you driving a uhaul?
• Do you have time to stop and see cool stuff?  America is huge, you should really try checking things out.

Planes:

Some people opt to pay movers to load up everything and get things moving, and get to the destination as quickly as possible.   You can either bring your dog/cat or check them into cargo.  Now this seems like it could be the easier option, however.  Triple check the size of the dog crate, sometimes the airline will tell you at security they don’t think the crate is big enough and then you have to buy one from them and throw out the other one you probably just bought.

The other down side to moving via airplane is that it just happens so damn fast.  It’s also something that many people do quite often these days, so its weird to get on a plane and think “wow I am not coming back.”  Then you land some 2-6 hours later and say “ok I guess I live here now.”

Trains:

Friends of ours opted for the Amtrak from Chicago to San Francisco and loved it!  Splurge and get a sleeper cabin.  They basically leave at odd times so that you can sleep through the boring stuff (like the salt flats in Nevada), but you are awake to see all of the awesome stuff.  The only down side is that you cannot bring pets, but you can bring a little more luggage than on a plane.  This seems like the best of everything, take your time, see stuff you would probably never see and you don’t even have to drive!

Automobiles:

Personally we were not thrilled with putting our dog in cargo and we have a car so we decided to drive from Chicago to San Francisco.  Planning for this was a total nightmare but TOTALLY WORTH IT!

• Purchase larger cat crate for comfort puposes
• Xanax for kitty
• Figure out how to fit a HUGE dog crate in the car along with everything else
• Portable litter box
• Luggage to live out of for 2 weeks
• Pet friendly hotels or places along the way (hotels require crates)

We spent 5 days on the road stopping in Omaha, Denver, Grand Junction, Moab (on accident), and Lake Tahoe.  The drive was actually never boring.  We had good music and the pets were behaved.  The rest was just watching the landscape get more interesting and breathtaking.  I would recommend the drive from Denver to Grand Junction to anyone that wants a beautiful drive.  Every turn even more impressive than the last.  We got to spend time talking about Chicago and what we were looking forward to in San Francisco too.

We planned on a few things going wrong along the way however we did not have any pet related incidents.  The cat slept in the car (no xanax needed) and the dog loved looking at the mountains and interesting terrain out west.

We did however have a run in with the US Marshal’s.  I am not sure how I could advise you to plan for that.  I suppose if you are in Omaha and you look like someone on the most wanted list they will scream and point 4 guns at your husbands head in the parking lot of the hotel.  After a quick conversation and change of pants we were back on our way.

Also just plan for a flat tire and hope that it is in a beautiful place like this:

Fixing a flat tire!

Have you moved cross country?  Share your tails in the comments below, we would love to hear what worked and didn’t work for you.

 

 

To Move or Not to Move-The Great Relocation Debate

Over the past few years, I have seen friends come and go from city to city and country to country.  Some people hear that and think “oh I could never do that” and others don’t even think about how much work, sacrifice, and planning goes into such a move.

“Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.”– Victor Kiam

click here to tweet this idea

I always knew that I wanted to live in Chicago, hell I even wrote about it in a senior year high school project titled “My Predictions for the Next 10 Years.”  So sometime in 2003, I wrote “I would like to graduate from college and buy a loft apartment in Chicago. I would then like to open my own business….  I just want to be comfortable and kinda go with the flow and not be uptight and miss out on anything that life has to offer me.”  So off to Chicago I went!  I didn’t even really consider all of the implications of moving out of state and away from family.  I am extremely close to my family and it literally never dawned on me that I would never live at home again.  To this day I find that very strange.

After 7 years in Chicago, it really felt like my home.  I loved the friends that I had made (which took quite a bit of time), the local bars, wonderful restaurants, mountains of snow, and the intense summer heat, I just loved it all!  I flew out to San Francisco for work and my husband came out to enjoy a long weekend with me when my meetings were done.  That was the first time he seriously asked me if I would ever want to live out here.  I didn’t even think twice, said how much I loved Chicago and I couldn’t imagine starting all over.

Fast forward 8 months and we were now having a serious moving conversation.  Jake was interviewing for a job in Chicago and then they asked if he would consider taking a position in San Francisco.  I had been looking for a new job in Chicago for months and wasn’t having any luck, so I figured I would consider the idea of starting new out here in the tech mecca.

Are you contemplating a big move?  Here are some thoughts to consider:

• Will you be able to find a new job? In a reasonable amount of time, doing what you LOVE to do.
• What is the cost of living difference between the new place and old? SF vs Chicago rent, HOLY SHIT.
• Will you have any family close by? Or if you don’t give a damn about your fam that’s fine too.
• Can you or your family afford to fly and visit cross country?  Will you spend Thanksgiving on a guilt trip because you couldn’t spend the cash to go home?
• Do you have any kids or are you planning on having kids? Having kids away from family is a topic for another day.
• Is your new city pet friendly? Can’t leave the fur kids behind!
• What life stage are your friends in?  Getting married, having kids, are your friendships evolving?
• Do you have any weather preferences?  Hate snow, you probably shouldn’t move up North 🙂
• How are you going to pay for the actual move?  Shit is expensive, no matter how you look at it.

Clearly we ended up making the move (more on that to come in later posts).  I want to hear about your biggest move, fear of moving, or where you wish you could move.  Over the next few weeks I will be featuring interviews with people that have relocated near and far, and I would love to hear your stories!

 

 

 

Are You Afraid of Time?

Early today I read The Fears That Hold You Back (And How To Fight Them) posted on Paid to Exist and written by guest blogger Maneesh Sethi.

This is a topic that I have been wrestling with for sometime, and that post just brought it all together.

I am afraid of time. That I am not doing what I should be doing with the time that I have been given.

I grew up in the suburb of Westlake, outside of Cleveland, Ohio.  It was quite a typical suburban upbringing.  Tons of neighborhood kids, stay out until the street lights come on, rode our bikes without helmets, unstructured play time of made up games.  Well… there was also a murder next store and a group of married swingers down the block (I will save that for a later post).  Totally normal, right?

I had my first realization that I am not invincible and that my clock was constantly ticking when I was a freshman in high school.  A classmate that I was friends with but not particularly close to was diagnosed with cancer and passed away a few short months later.  In her last few weeks she was as positive and cheerful as ever, just with slightly less hair.  She even helped her parents out with her arrangements so they wouldn’t have to do too much after she passed away.  She went as far as picking out her own baby blue casket that had just a slight hint of shimmer.  I think she even wanted to make us all smile on such a sad day.  That is how she wanted it.

I don’t think that I fully grasped what I was seeing, or understood how her father was able to give her eulogy to that church packed with hundreds of high school girls, friends and family.

Between that time and now 12 years later..

A friend was drinking and driving and killed my friends little brother in the passenger seat when he slammed into a pole.  Another was driving home from Cornell for his little sisters first communion and flipped his car on I-90, passing away hours later.  My very first junior high crush was driving to work a few years ago and hit a patch of ice, then the median and passed away.  Another killed himself.  Then the light of all of our lives here in Chicago was killed by a drunk driver while skateboarding last fall.

I am not just going on and on to make you depressed, and I apologize if I am.  I do want to point out that many people say life is short, but I don’t know how many people really realize how often it is cut even shorter.  I have seen the lives of people of all ages gone in the blink of an eye.

So why be patient, why wait?

Why wait until you have stayed in your current position for 3 years before looking for a job?  Why wait until you find the one?  Why wait until your boss recognizes your hard work and gives you a huge raise?  Why wait to say I love you?

“You may delay, but time will not.” -Benjamin Franklin

(click here to tweet this quote)

Perhaps these experiences are why no one in the world would use the word patient to describe me.  I have struggled with trying to develop patience and learn to just shut up and keep my mouth shut.  But I don’t think that I want to be that patient person.  I want to be someone that gets things done and makes a difference in other peoples lives.  Sitting in a cubicle passing the time doing something you don’t love until something better comes along is not the answer.

The tricky part is that we can’t all just walk away.  There are bills, spouses, children, and responsibilities.  Finding a more fulfilling job that can also meet these criteria can be very difficult.  How do you find a rewarding career without sacrificing the well being of your family?

Please feel free to share your own fears or struggles in the comment section below, I would love to hear from you and write a follow up post.

 

Is Not Taking a Vacation Actually Killing You?

Have you ever counted down the minutes until you could set your out of office message for a day off?  I am not talking about some fabulous trip that you have planned to Paris, Australia or Costa Rica, I mean an actual day off. I did that today and as I was watching the clock I thought, this is fucking insane.  I shouldn’t be this excited to take a day off to go to the doctor, run errands and do laundry and prepare to host a bridal shower…

If you are an American, only 59% of us have access to paid time off according to the Labor Department. The U.S. is the only major developed country that does not require companies to give their employees a minimum number of vacation days. In fact 60 countries actually require a minimum number of vacation days.  Check out the entire list on Huffington Post.

There is also a stigma at many corporate companies against people that actually use vacation days. If you take a day off in my office, you will certainly be given an extra pile of work to complete before you go and are usually expected to check email while out as well. One woman was told she should bring her laptop on her honeymoon.

I could site a million studies that show data that working constantly and never taking time for yourself isn’t healthy. Seriously we need studies to tell us that doing the same stressful job day in and day out for 40+ years without taking a break isn’t healthy.

Let’s get real, work is stressful, and stress fucks with your mind and body.  Take a vacation. End of story. Click to tweet this little gem.

It would also benefit companies to encourage people to actually use vacation time. I am not counting the companies that are about to lay people off and want everyone to use vacation time so they don’t have to pay anything extra (you know who you are).  Taking some time off to do something that makes you happy is good for everyone around you.  You don’t have to take some big expensive vacation, just do something for yourself.  Hopefully you work someplace that will let you unplug and recharge (which is kinda funny, because usually when you unplug things they don’t charge).  Regardless-it is important.

Have you used any vacation time this year? What did you choose to do with your time?  If you haven’t used any, please do and tell me all about it!