Are You Afraid of Time?

Early today I read The Fears That Hold You Back (And How To Fight Them) posted on Paid to Exist and written by guest blogger Maneesh Sethi.

This is a topic that I have been wrestling with for sometime, and that post just brought it all together.

I am afraid of time. That I am not doing what I should be doing with the time that I have been given.

I grew up in the suburb of Westlake, outside of Cleveland, Ohio.  It was quite a typical suburban upbringing.  Tons of neighborhood kids, stay out until the street lights come on, rode our bikes without helmets, unstructured play time of made up games.  Well… there was also a murder next store and a group of married swingers down the block (I will save that for a later post).  Totally normal, right?

I had my first realization that I am not invincible and that my clock was constantly ticking when I was a freshman in high school.  A classmate that I was friends with but not particularly close to was diagnosed with cancer and passed away a few short months later.  In her last few weeks she was as positive and cheerful as ever, just with slightly less hair.  She even helped her parents out with her arrangements so they wouldn’t have to do too much after she passed away.  She went as far as picking out her own baby blue casket that had just a slight hint of shimmer.  I think she even wanted to make us all smile on such a sad day.  That is how she wanted it.

I don’t think that I fully grasped what I was seeing, or understood how her father was able to give her eulogy to that church packed with hundreds of high school girls, friends and family.

Between that time and now 12 years later..

A friend was drinking and driving and killed my friends little brother in the passenger seat when he slammed into a pole.  Another was driving home from Cornell for his little sisters first communion and flipped his car on I-90, passing away hours later.  My very first junior high crush was driving to work a few years ago and hit a patch of ice, then the median and passed away.  Another killed himself.  Then the light of all of our lives here in Chicago was killed by a drunk driver while skateboarding last fall.

I am not just going on and on to make you depressed, and I apologize if I am.  I do want to point out that many people say life is short, but I don’t know how many people really realize how often it is cut even shorter.  I have seen the lives of people of all ages gone in the blink of an eye.

So why be patient, why wait?

Why wait until you have stayed in your current position for 3 years before looking for a job?  Why wait until you find the one?  Why wait until your boss recognizes your hard work and gives you a huge raise?  Why wait to say I love you?

“You may delay, but time will not.” -Benjamin Franklin

(click here to tweet this quote)

Perhaps these experiences are why no one in the world would use the word patient to describe me.  I have struggled with trying to develop patience and learn to just shut up and keep my mouth shut.  But I don’t think that I want to be that patient person.  I want to be someone that gets things done and makes a difference in other peoples lives.  Sitting in a cubicle passing the time doing something you don’t love until something better comes along is not the answer.

The tricky part is that we can’t all just walk away.  There are bills, spouses, children, and responsibilities.  Finding a more fulfilling job that can also meet these criteria can be very difficult.  How do you find a rewarding career without sacrificing the well being of your family?

Please feel free to share your own fears or struggles in the comment section below, I would love to hear from you and write a follow up post.